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I'm Sue Alexander, and I've known Jean Brooking
since 1990 when she started working at Burroughs Wellcome. We worked together,
there at Burroughs Wellcome, for 5 years.
Jean and Jim left Durham and moved to northern Virginia in 1995. They
relocated back to Durham and the Triangle area in early 1999, when Jean
transferred with Quintiles to the RTP office. I had the good fortune to
have Jean live with me for about 2 months in the spring of 1999, while
she started her work here in RTP and they were in the process of moving
back, and selling one home and purchasing their new home in Durham.
As you know, with Jean's bundle of energy and drive to do everything
professionally, she worked many hours each day, and went house-hunting
after hours. It was not unusual for her to be leaving in the morning as
I was just getting up, nor for her to arrive home shortly before I went
to bed. Weekends found her driving to Virginia, or Jim would come to Durham
and they would house-hunt. It is a treasured memory to have had Jean live
with me for that short time, share an occasional dinner, a glass of wine,
a piece of chocolate together. Also, it was a comfort to have a kindred
animal-lover living with me, to watch after my cat when I had to be out
of town.
Last Tuesday, the day Jean died, I was at my desk at work and was eating
a Dove chocolate after lunch. You know Dove chocolates, the chocolate
squares that are foil-wrapped, and with a saying or thought printed on
the inside of the foil. I unwrapped the foil carefully and discovered
such a treasure. The saying related that:
"A day without chocolate is a day wasted. "
That had to be Jean speaking directly to me; the chocolate tasted sweet,
and bitter, in my mouth, and my eyes filled with tears. How fitting, to
be reminded that very day, of one of Jean's loves! She so loved chocolate!
And then I realized it was Jean speaking to me, saying "Share with
these good people, all of you who are with us today, some of the things
I love." Chocolate!
Plants. In addition to chocolate, Jean loved plants. If you haven't been
to Jean's home you might not know this, but Jean had a green thumb, actually
I'm sure she had two green thumbs. The interior and exterior of their
home have the added beauty of interesting plants, and a profusion of colorful
blossoms. Just as she nurtured other living things, so she nurtured plants.
Some of her houseplants resided in my home temporarily, while Jean and
Jim moved back to Durham. She gave me several of her plants, and I especially
treasure her Christmas cactus. Its blooms during the winter will bring
her presence back with me.
Hawaii. Speaking of winter, Jean and Jim were able to escape our North
Carolina winters when they visited Hawaii. I wanted to share with you
our island state of Hawaii, as another one of Jean and Jim's loves. Jim
has some wonderful Hawaiian shirts, and the next time you see him, he'll
probably be wearing one. Be sure and look for him and his lovely aloha
shirt.
Hawaii is truly a tropical paradise where the pace of living is slower,
calmer. The islands feel exotic and foreign, they are lush with trees,
plants, flowers, fruit, and birdlife. They are rich with Polynesian culture
and heritage. The island of Hawaii, which is also known as the Big Island,
was a special place for Jean and Jim. I'd like to read a few words about
the big island of Hawaii, from Ray Riegert, a travel writer:
" .. the Big Island has always been where I feel closest to the
Polynesian spirit."
"To many Hawaiians, the big island of Hawaii is the most sacred
of all the islands. To everyone who visits it, Hawaii is a place of
startling contrasts and unspeakable beauty, an alluring and exotic tropical
island." [Ray Riegert; Hidden Hawaii]
Having lived on Oahu as a child, and visited the island of Hawaii as
an adult, the Hawaiian islands are a treasured place for me too. I value
this shared connection with Jean and Jim. They have been to the island
of Hawaii seven times in the last 4 or 5 years; most recently just three
months before Jean died. I have a vision, an image, of Jean walking barefoot
along the beach, being caressed with gentle ocean breezes and the palm
tree leaves rustling in that breeze. You hear strains of Hawaiian music
in the background, and Jean is relaxed, a smile, and the warm sunshine,
on her face.
Animals. You're probably aware of another love of Jean's, and Jim's;
and that is animals. As long as I've known them, they've had pets. During
their first time in Durham, Jean and Jim shared their home with two golden
retrievers, Misty and Sandy, and a Siamese kitty named Simi. Jean and
I would take long walks through their Woodcroft neighborhood, getting
exercise for the dogs and the humans, and sharing wisdom and laughs.
When they moved to Virginia, and were living with no pets, (imagine that)
they adopted another golden retriever named Winston. On their return to
Durham they adopted one amazing greyhound named Elly Mae. Animals are
very much a part of their lives. Jean and Jim have been active with the
Golden Retriever rescue organizations and with the Triangle Greyhound
Society. I admire their generosity to provide loving healthy homes for
these dogs and their work with the rescue organizations to raise awareness
of the animals' needs.
Her family. The last love I want to share with you is Jean's family.
In spite of her busy professional life, Jean loved and was very devoted
to her family. Their love and devotion to Jean is in turn very strong
and committed, and was particularly demonstrated visible in the last months
of Jean's life. Jim, and Michele and Diana, thank you for showing so tangibly
your love to Jean, the lady who is your wife and mother.
You also were generous. You allowed those of us who are Jean's friends,
to share precious time that fostered our friendships and our own memories.
Please let me express my gratitude to her family for sharing Jean, particularly
during the past two years when we knew each moment is truly precious.
I think it is uncommon, as an adult, to get to know my friend's adult
children. But I had that good fortune with Diana and Michele. For those
of you who have not met Diana and Michele, they are lovely young women,
and are filled with Jean's grace. You wouldn't be surprised to learn they
truly are Jean's daughters.
Jean as my Balcony Person. I want to share an image that is significant
to me in my remembrance of Jean Bishop Brooking. Totally by coincidence,
Jean and I have gone to the same hairstylist though it was not during
the same periods of time. In the last two years, whenever I saw Tim for
a haircut, he would ask how Jean was doing, and I would share. We would
lovingly reminisce about Jean, and Tim shared with me his image that Jean
was 'A Balcony Person' in his life. Whenever he saw her, which was usually
late in the afternoon, he was uplifted by her spirit and attitude. He
told me, There aren't many Balcony People, but Jean certainly is A Balcony
Person.
That image, of Jean as a Balcony Person, has so much resonance with me.
But it evolved into a vision or image slightly different from Tim's vision
of Jean lifting him up to the balcony. My image of Jean as My Balcony
Person, finds Jean up in my balcony, with me down here. During her life,
and now in her afterlife, her perspective and advice are invaluable. Besides
being my friend, Jean is my mentor and guide. She is above the mundane,
the pettiness. She has the keen ability to cut to the chase, and she speaks
clearly about whatever the issue might be, in her direct, but always gentle
manner. She was never one for 'small talk', nor did she complain. She
had the uncanny ability to see above the minutae, recognize what is truly
important or salient, and be able to say, precisely, gently, and thoughtfully
what her perception.
Jean lifted my spirits, she was there for me. So, like Tim, Jean lifted
me up to her balcony. But I also value her perspective and her honesty,
from her balcony, guiding me, this will be a special treasure that she
leaves with me.
A few lines from the James Taylor song we will be hearing soon, are especially
fitting here:
And if I'm feeling down and blue,
Or troubled by some foolish game,
She always seems to make me change my mind.
Being the Balcony Person that she is, she can see the foolish games that
are played, and shares the wisdom to help us focus on important pieces
and not dwell on those foolish games.
Closing. In closing, I invite you to think of your recollections of Jean,
the thoughtful, insightful, intelligent woman who had much wisdom and
experience and generously shared it with us. She had many loves, only
a few of which I've mentioned today. And she is up in her balcony, and
continues to share her wisdom and guidance with me, and maybe with you
too.
Jean, you left a legacy with everyone who knew you. Yes, your time with
us was much too short. I want to take this opportunity to use the Hawaiian
phrase for Thank You: Mahalo Jean, Mahalo Nui Loa, for the time you have
graced us with your presence. You touched us all, and we thank you for
your life with us. Aloha to our friend, wife, mother, Jean.
Aloha Jean.
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